


THE LETTERS

by Julia_M



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Established Relationship, Love, M/M, Mexico, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-13
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-01 13:54:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16285838
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Julia_M/pseuds/Julia_M
Summary: Ian writes letters to Mickey to Mexico.I hope you enjoy it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Guys, if you see any mistakes excuse me. I'm not native girl :-)

**TO: MICKEY MILKOVICH**  
**WHERE: Mexico**  
**FROM: IAN GALLAGHER**  
**WHEREFROM: South Chicago**

 

**SEPTEMBER**

Hi, Mickey.

Today is Friday and I'm writing this fucking letter a thousandth time. The last letters I ripped and threw away to the trash bin. I hope you aren't angry to me for that.  
Mick, you know… I fucked up. I fucked up my life. I'm not sure you'll get my letter, but I have to tell you everything.  
Dude, I'm scared. I don't know who and WHAT I'm?! I think when I saw you in last time at the border with Mexico, I finally lost ability to common sense. I can't think clearly. I stopped to take meds. You won't believe me, but I'm Gay Jesus. Don't laugh at me. I know, I totally fucked up my life. I remember I said to you I have a fucking boyfriend and I don't want to fuck up my life again. Well, Mick, I did it without you. I made it with my own hands. I thought… I was afraid to be with you and I was afraid to trust my life to you, man. I'm so sorry, Mickey. I have never been so mistaken! It would be better if I'll go with you, I think. And I'm really sorry about that.  
My family thinks I forgot about you. But I didn't. I can't get you out of my head. I'm sick and I still mad, but I never stop thinking about you. Honestly. You are my first love. I remember each your kiss and fuck, each your sigh, your breath and touching. I know, you hate these gay words. I'm sorry, but I'm so fucking miss you, you fucking fuck! I realize, perhaps now you are lying on the beach, drinking beer or something else, maybe fucking with a hot man. I don't judge you. You have your own life and it's ok. It's been a long time. ~~Mick, do you think about me?~~  
Ian struck out this sentence and decided don't rewrite the letter and continued:  
You know, everything changed for me when you left. Mick, I have to say to you something. Mick, I love you too! I understand, you think I'm writing bullshit, because I told you - this isn't me anymore, but it's me! I'm sure you, Mick! I hope, you believe me…

_With Love, Ian._

 

  
**TWO WEEKS LATER**

Hi, again. One week ago I decided to stop all that shit with Gay Jesus. I confused, Mick. I don't know what I have to do. I'm sure, you could help me, because you always helped me and cared about me. You are the best what I had in my shitty life.  
Today I had problems with some homophobic guys. They wanted to beat me, fucking haters! This is all because of my Gay Jesus story. Now I have big problems with a law. I can get to a prison for 15 years! I miss you so much, fucking Milkovich! I want to see your face, I want to kiss your sweet and soft lips, I miss about your smell, Mick. I want to grab you in my hugs and never let you go! I want to sleep with you every day and to make a sex every night. Maybe it sounds silly, but I want you know it, know my feelings to you. It still same. Only with you I could feel and live, dude. Now I just exist. I'm nothing without you. With every day I realize it. Seems, I don't breathe without you, but WITH you, I did.  
Mick, since you've been gone, I feel bad. I did so much stupid things. If you were next to me, I think I would be alright. I would take my meds and listen to you! Sorry, man, I can't to write anymore. My eyes full of tears. I need take a break.

_Love, Ian._

 

**THREE DAYS LATER**

Hey, Mickey.

How are you, man? This morning I started to take my meds. Thanks to you. I feel better and I can to think clearly.  
Sorry for the long letter. I wanted to send it, but I changed my mind and I think I'll send the letter when I finish it completely.  
Of course, I don't know your address, Mick. I only know one thing - Mexico. Does Mexico have a lot of Milkoviches? Mick, if you’ll get this mail, I'll be waiting your answer! Hours, days, weeks, months, years… I'll be waiting whatever. Because you under my skin, man. What the fuck can I do? M-m?  
How I love our spot, Mick! Sometimes I come there. My brain still full of memories about us. I tried to forget myself and fit in all that shit. But it didn't work. I couldn't fix myself. In the deep of my soul I'm still your Redhead, your partner, lover and family, you know. I want to be with you, and you… do you want the same?

_With love, Redhead_

 

**OCTOBER**

Mick! Mick! Mick!

Mick, I haven't been thinking about you for 10 minutes already. Mick, yesterday I went to the post office and it was closed. I'm sorry, dude. Mick, I found your T-shirt in my room and now I’m not letting go it from my hands. I love it. It has your smell still. In fact, it stinks like fucking dirty socks, but I don’t give a shit about that. Mick, I miss you. Mick… oh, how many times I wrote your name, Mick? So that you know, I take my meds! Whole month, Mick! I'm just excited! Mick, I bought a ticket to Mexico. I know, I'm crazy. I even changed the color of my hair. It's black. Now we both have same hair color. It's so stupid, isn't it? Also I found a suitcase. One of those, which I stole, when I was in my manic phase. I fit all my shit into it. I didn't know that I have so many stuffs! Mick, I found your Hawaiian shirt. You put it on just once in the Alibi Room. Mick, I miss you…

_With ❤, Ian_

 

**FIVE DAYS LATER. WEDNESDAY.**

Hello, my partner, lover, family.

Yesterday I got a new job. Now I'm a male nurse in a Hospital. I remember how I got in the Mental Health Center. To be honest, I felt so bad. I was out my meds and out my minds. My body was on the land, but my feelings were... different. I was like lifeless. I'm sorry, Mick. I'm sorry, I couldn't joy to you in a hospital. I know, you were happy to see me, you looked perfect, Mick! Sorry, that I couldn't say it to you. My brain was like a wadding and I understood nothing. Now I realized, you were so kind to me then... Thank you for being with me in my bad times. Hugs.

_With huge love, Ian_

 

**SAME DAY. NIGHT.**

“I love you. It means we take care of each other… It means thick and thin, good times, bad, sickness, health, all that shit.”  
Mickey, you have no idea how you were right. I was wrong.  
I love you too. Goodnight. Ian.

Ian underlined these words three times and went to sleep.

 

**ONE WEEK LATER.**

They caught me. They took away my ticket, Mickey! My ticket to Mexico! And all my stuffs… They took away all my shit! Fucking cops! They broke into my house and started blame me for everything what I did when I was Gay Jesus! Can you believe? I'm really sorry… I can't go to you. I'm in jail now. I want to get out of here. I have to take my meds. I’m already for two days out my meds. Seems, I'm going crazy in this cage. Thanks God, I have small piece of paper and this broken pencil. I found it in my pocket. They don’t know about it.

_I love you. Your Ian._

 

 **FREEDOM.**  
**NOVEMBER.**

What you and I have, makes me free.

Hi, Mick!

Finally, I'm free. Finally, I can breathe and feel. I took my meds. I'm fine, Mickey and I hope, you are ok too. When I was in jail, I remembered about your coming out. Fuuck, you are so brave! I thought fucking Terry would kill you! I was shocked, when you came out! I didn't think that you will do it for my sake! I didn't expect that! You're my brave and manly, lover. No one replace you, no one… Mick, I want to hug you, I want to kiss you in your head like in that time after a fight. We were covered in blood and your face… Mick, your face was beautiful and it still beautiful. I do love your smile! And your smell… I miss about it. Mickey, I'm free thanks to you. I mean, if you are free then I'm free too, even if it was a jail. We both have same thing - LOVE, and this shit makes us free from everything.

_Love you. Ian._

 

 **MID NOVEMBER.**  
**SWEET NOVEMBER.**

I can't get him out of my head.

I'm sitting on a couch and I can't stop thinking about you. In fact, I think about you every day, but now I have too many thoughts in my head. It's like a hive. I remember every moment with you… I scroll in my head that moment, when I didn't get in your fucking car. I scroll that moment when I blew up the van. I scroll that moment when you kissed me at the border with Mexico. Also I scroll our last fuck. It was so hot! I missed you and missed about your lips, tongue, smell… and especially your dick. You were so hard. I want you. I want you so much! Now I'm hard too. Look what you've done?!

_5 minutes later_

Thank you, I came.

Ian took a bath and went outside.

Fuuck… I love this fresh and cold air. It’s making my minds about you a little frozen and I'm starting to think clearly for a while. It doesn't matter my right hand is feeling nothing. I'm sitting on the porch. I'm frozen. I need to go inside. Don't want to catch a cold.  
P.S.  
I hope you have amazing and really hot day.  
p.p.s  
I’ve never mentioned your name in this letter. Did you notice?

_I❤u_

 

 **TWO DAYS LATER.**  
**SMS.**

Mickey 22:05  
Hi, Redass

Ian 22:07  
Fuuuck! I can't believe my eyes! Is it you, Mick?

Mickey 22:10  
Fuck you, Galager! Yes, it's me.

Ian 22:11  
Still haven't learned to spell my second name correctly?

Mickey 22:15  
I give a shit how I should to write your surname. Fuck you.

Ian 22:17  
Excuse me? You texted me first and now fuck me? You know what? Fuck you too, Mickey! Don't text me anymore!

Mickey 23:00  
Are you awake?

Ian 23:01  
No. What the fuck do you want?

Mickey 23:05  
You…

Ian 23:06  
This isn't me anymore, remember?

Mickey 23:11  
I do. I remember it very well, Ian. Don't be mad at me, plz. I just wanted to say: I miss you.

Ian 23:15  
Gjhgjfdnd WhAt?!

Ian's phone is ringing as crazy on the table. It was the call from his work. He woke up and had to go immediately.


	2. MICKEY’S LETTERS.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mickey writes answers to Ian.
> 
> Guys, here I will add next Mickey's letters...

**SOME MONTHS LATER.**

_Liking what I like don't make me a bitch._

Fuuuck…. How did you do that? I mean… HOW did you find me, Gallagher? I've got all your lettes and … what I have to say? I thought about you. Yes, I did. A lot. Every day. Every fucking night. In the first time it made me really hurt. I couldn't sleep well. I couldn't eat, just drank. A lot. Too much pain I felt inside. And too much happened between us and with me. I don't want to write how much and I don't want to describe every day of my shitty life without you, Ian. But I have to admit, I fucking missed you! I had started miss you when I crossed that fucking border with Mexico. I was thinking about you whole my trip. Fuuck, I even jerked off to myself! Ha-ha… I thought about your dick in my ass and about your tongue in my mouth. I thought about your hands, how you run your fingers over my face and put it on my back and after squeeze my ass. Damn, it was so hot and I came so fucking hard. You, know, today the weather is hot, too hot like in the hell! I'm look like a fucking wet rat. I missed you.. and I'm missing now. I wanted to ride with you, Gallagher! But you made your own choice. You became Gay Jesus. Fuck, Ian! Really? I can't believe. Poor children. But I'm glad you're fine after all that shit. I'm proud of you! You have a new job and finally, you started take your meds! Good for you!

**Hugs & kisses. **

**Mickey.**


End file.
